Types of Cousins

Welcome to my first post that’s meant purely for entertainment.

So, we all have plenty of cousins. Oh my god, the types of cousins we have! So today I wanted to classify some of them for you. I’m sure you would be able to relate. Thumbs up if you can!

  1. Know it All…Not at All

We all have that one cousin who’s a Know it all…or at least he thinks he is.  This type of a cousin is so full of himself, and thinks that he’s so damn right about everything effing thing, that it gets on my nerves!

Oh, so you think that your opinion is a fact. Well, a round of applause for no one but you! *Clap* *Clap Clap* *Clap Clap Clap* *Claps like a retarded seal*

You. Are. Annoying. I don’t like you, because you think that you’re an effing Einstein of every effing thing in the world! Oh, it was you who gave Einstein the classes of Science. I’m sorry, is that impressive? You, mister, should keep your vast collection of educational classes to yourself!

And the thing about this type of people is that they know nothing. Like, seriously, they’re effing clueless about what they’re even talking about. But, “No! I’m going to teach you what I absolutely have no idea about, but make myself belief that I convinced you because you’re smiling and nodding, and I’m so full of myself!”

Well, news flash, mister, I’m polite and I don’t want you to be embarrassed of yourself, and so I nod and don’t correct you, but you…oh, you think you convinced me?

Well, *Clap* *Clap Clap* *Clap Clap Clap*

You’re an idiot!

  1. Little Miss Perfect

We all have that one cousin who is a Little Miss Perfect. No seriously. Everyone else in the family thinks that she is the perfect example of a human being. And you’re the one sitting in the corner being an honest person and portray yourself just the way you are, and you get judged for it, while the little miss perfect cooks perfectly, her looks are perfect, her hair is perfect, she does perfect make up, she’s perfectly polite and giving, and the cherry on the top is…she knows this!

This cousin knows that she’s loved by every single person in the family, and shows it off to you, because she knows that when at home, your mom asks you to be like her.

Well, news flash, people! Nobody’s perfect, and the only reason the whole family loves that cousin is because she knows exactly how to impress people by not being what she actually is.

See, I know what you do to have flawless skin, so quit lying to people and saying, “Oh this? This is natural.” Oh yeah, you’re a saint. God gifted you with that perfect skin. Look, we know that you don’t want us to have a perfect skin because that can ruin your reputation, but the least you can do is be honest about it!

Look, I know that this dish tastes horrible, but you’re just sitting there, saying, “Mm, aunty, this is delicious,” while I’m going to refuse eating it because it tastes like vomit. Now I’m going to be judged for being honest, and your fake personality gained everyone’s love. Oh, and now you’re helping with the dishes too? Well, thanks, now I know the next lecture my mom is going to give me!

You. Disgust. Me. Aghhhh!

  1. Sticker

Oh, don’t get me started on this one. This type of a cousin is the one who just doesn’t get the hint. You’re talking to his brother, but out of nowhere this person enters that serious conversation like he was there all effing along. This person starts throwing comments into the conversations, and the most annoying thing about him is that when you tell him to keep out of it, he makes jokes, and not just that, this person seeing that no one is laughing at his stupid jokes, he laughs at his own joke like he’s an effing villain in a Disney movie.

Like, eff off, dude! You’re annoying.

  1. Little Miss Too Good

This type of a person is so full of himself that he thinks himself to be a bit too good to be with you. And they are so effing annoying that you want nothing more than to punch them on their nose…with a brick, because they’re hella rude!

It’s like they are too good to even talk to you. You compliment them. It’s a good thing, right? But this person is so effing full of himself that he doesn’t reply. Like, you compliment him, and he just gives you a look. Like, look at you up and down, and smile his sarcastic smile and turn back around. It blows our self-esteem! What I did I say, bitch? I complimented you! Are you too good to say “thank you”?

You. Are. Annoying.

  1. Best friends

Okay, this type of a cousin is the best! You two (or a whole group) are best of friends, and it doesn’t matter what other people think about you. You fool around. Have fun. Talk for hours about bitches. It doesn’t matter. You’re best friends.

Got a secret to tell? No problem! Call up your cousin bestie. She’d keep it to herself.

Stuck in a problem? No worries! Call up your cousin bestie. She’d solve it.

Just saw a gorgeous guy? No tension! Call up your cousin bestie. You know she won’t steal him.

Gotta bitch about someone? No stress! She’d make it spicier for you.

Gotta change your diaper? Oh…

  1. Creepy lover

Okay, let me say this. We all have that one cousin that you’ve rarely met, but there are irrevocably in love with you.

Understand this.

He is from the opposite gender. So not your type. But he loves you till death do us apart type. Like, seriously, dude, have you even talked to me? Ever?

This person is so in love with you that he wants to marry you. You heard me! Marry you, and he thinks that whatever creepy vibes he’s passing, is normal. No, it’s not. It’s abnormal, and totally creepy! And he just doesn’t get the hint! Like, ever.

Oh, so you love me? Oh, so you wanna marry me? Oh, so you think I’m your type? Well, even if you were the most gorgeous cousin I had, you would have crept me out.

Leave. Me. Alone.

Creep.

  1. Pampered

Oh, yeah, don’t get me started on this type. We all hate these cousins, why? Because of their parents. Their parents just don’t shut up about their kids.

Oh, so your daughter is in medical? Is that why she has dark circles? Too bad for her. You know my parents don’t stress me about subjects just so they can brag about it to others.

Oh, so your son never smokes? Believe me, woman, it’s you who don’t know. The rest of the family is well aware that your son is an effing Chimney! Smoke everywhere.

Shut up for once about your kids. And stop blowing our self-esteem. Woman!


Thumbs up if you still love your cousins!

That’s about it. If you can relate, make sure to give this post a “Like”.

“Comment” below and let me know if I missed a type, or if you could relate. Also Comment if you want me to post more of these kinds of entertainment articles. Also if you have any suggestions, drop it in the comments.

Hit “Share” if you could relate to any point in this list.

Till then, take care ‘cause I care.

One love ❤ Peace out~


Credit for pictures: Google.

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