A few days ago, my sport’s teacher asked me and my friend to be the host for an event she was holding. We skipped studies to do her a favor. In the middle of the event, while a political leader was giving the crowd a speech, my friend and I were called by a teacher (she wasn’t even our teacher. But, after all, she was…and she should have known what a teacher is supposed to do.) In front of everyone, she scolded us for something we hadn’t even done. She didn’t tell us what we were doing wrong, instead, she scolded us, she insulted us; to be specific. The students from other colleges were also there. She almost screamed at us, saying if we didn’t know what to say, why the hell did we get on the stage? Even if we were wrong, she wasn’t supposed to do that to us. Had we volunteered? No. Had we wanted that? No. It was their responsibility to tell us what to do, and how to do it, and not insulting us in the middle of the hallway.
What hurt most that day was that great people from great companies present there had praised us, and the teacher from our own college had humiliated us in front of all the other people our there. Believe me, their praises didn’t affect us more than the teacher’s scolding did. I had decided; I was never going to host any other event held in that college. My confidence had shattered.
That’s what I’ll discuss today.
Reward. That’s what matters the most. Most people have written on this subject, yet here I am writing my heart out. I’m so thankful to my parents, my brought up (except for that teacher incident, that I’m trying to forget…) I’ve been rewarded more than I have been punished. That’s what got me so far. That’s what got me today to write and run this blog.
Many teachers have asked parents to ignore their children’s bad behavior (Lets forget mine) and reward them on their good one. Many parents object on this. Why? Well, obviously, bad behavior can be so irritating. It can be so hard to ignore that. Also, ignoring bad behavior can count in bad-parenting. No matter, how reasonable this may sound, it has been proven that reward on good behavior works more effectively rather than punishment on bad one.
Yet, this is not the only aspect of this article. It’s just an example to tell you how much a reward can help others. Not just children, but everyone. Even in relationships (Though, it is said to make them fall in love with you by taking and not giving, which is partly right) but giving is also an important part. Giving reward on something they do for you. See? Covering what most people say. They give you, so you give back. They give you flowers, you give them ‘Thanks! You’re amazing.’ They give you, “I love you.” You give them, “I love you too.” See? Rewards. Okay, tell me, what would happen if they say, “I love you.” And you don’t even reply… Turn off. A major one.
Reward and reinforcement is very essential in learning too. Clarence J. Leuba in 1899 experimented. The magic effect of chocolate bars promised to 5th graders working multiplication problems, was shown by Clarence. For a week, he gave the children a ten minutes multiplication exercise without reward . Then he promised each a chocolate bar for improving by a certain amount. Performance increased by 52% compared to a group of children not similarly motivated.
That’s what I read in Psychology’s book today.
So, guys, be nice from now on if you’re already not. Your children, partner, friends, loved ones need appreciation, not insult. You have no idea what words can do for other person.
That’s what I’ve learnt.